


Buffy: Slayers Rule, Vampires Drool...No really, it' gross.

by ocean_of_notions, radio_silent



Series: The Very Secret Diaries...on the Hellmouth! [3]
Category: Buffy the Vampire Slayer
Genre: Angel Writes A Soap Opera, Crack, Diary/Journal, Humor, Multi, Split Ends are Tricky, Very Secret Diary
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2008-03-29
Updated: 2008-03-29
Packaged: 2017-11-09 01:31:38
Rating: Teen And Up Audiences
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 880
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/449766
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/ocean_of_notions/pseuds/ocean_of_notions, https://archiveofourown.org/users/radio_silent/pseuds/radio_silent
Summary: <blockquote class="userstuff">
              <p>"Big-time apocalypse again tonight. Wonder if I have time to fix my hair."</p>
            </blockquote>





	Buffy: Slayers Rule, Vampires Drool...No really, it' gross.

Day One  
Thought LA was glamorous. SO wrong. Checkered aprons--'nuff said. I suspect demons.

Day Two  
What's-her-face looked at me funny when I was doing a Ghandi impression today. He was that Viking, right? The one that discovered Greenland? .... Maybe I shouldn't have slept through history last year... and the year before...

Day Three  
Friends threw welcome home party with zombies. Lousy friends. Zombies so gross, gore stains so hard to wash out.

Day Four  
Remind me why I wanted to go back to school?

Day Five  
Don’t like new girl, Faith. V. annoying. Stole slayer bit. And might be prettier than me.

On other hand, she seems to be a slut.

Day Six  
Found naked + insane Angel.  V. frightening, but not as frightening as how quickly I found those chains.

Later...  
Cordelia SO not as pretty as me. Not bad with a spatula though.

Day Eight  
Hate Ethan Rayne. Hate parents. WISH I hated chocolate--so bad for complexion.  but I don't, it's too yummy.

Day Nine  
Faith got a new watcher.  Didn't think it was possible to wear outfits worse than tweed.

Speaking of Giles, he's being all weird--just because I didn't tell him my sometimes-psychotic sometimes-boyfriend who killed his girlfriend and then tortured him has come back from the dead is no reason to get all pissy...

Maybe it's the tweed.

Day Ten  
You know you're having a bad day when you take romantic advice from Spike. Sad drunk NOT flattering on him.

Day Eleven  
Just because we're broken up Angel thinks it's ok to be more interested in dead people than in me. Feel pout coming on.

Day Twelve  
Mom almost burned me at stake today. Felt a little better after staking Hansel and Gretel.

Day Thirteen  
Ok, so not only did Dad ditch me and my ice show, he got tickets to "Little Mermaid on Ice." Again. I've been watching that Flounder actor dance around to "Under the Sea" since he was in his late forties...now I'm just scared for his health.

Oh, and Angel gave me this weird book with this script inside. Didn't think he watched TV... I mean, that'd be like 200 years worth of reruns.

V. disturbed.  He needs to get out more.

Day Fourteen  
Giles got fired. After he nearly got me and Mom killed I'd say it was fair, but nobody deserves to be stuck as a librarian.

Day Fifteen  
Big-time apocalypse again tonight.

Wonder if I have time to fix my hair.

Day Sixteen  
Faith chick not so bad...crime super-sexy, though handcuffs not quite the image I was going for.

Day Seventeen  
Partying went downhill in a girls-gone-wild-with-weaponry kinda way. On the up side, now I can live pleather free.

Day Eighteen  
Thought Willow was over the whole me-and-Faith thing.  But no, and she just HAD to bring back the pleather.  From another dimension no less--there has to be an easier way to make a statement.

Angel was so sweet. he was really upset for Will. Only he kept muttering something about copyright infringement. That was weird.

Day Ninteen  
Angel considerably less sweet when going pscho-killer. Even if he was faking it. I think it's that time of the month again...

Later...

Um, the time of the month when Angel and I break up.

That was obvious, right?

Day Twenty  
Psychic!  V. fun to know what people think.  Well, except Giles (what does he know about fashion, anyway? stupid British guy).  Well, and Xander (ew).  And Cordelia (honestly, could anyone be more ditsy? If I have to hear about her split ends one more time...)

Later...  
Still psychic.  
Ow.  
OW!  
People think too much.

Day Twenty-One  
SPLIT ENDS!  Must be demons.

Later...

Have tried shampoo, conditioner, hairspray and some of Angel's hair gel.  All at once.  Split ends v. resilient. Cannot cope.  Am leaving sunnydale.

Day Twenty-Two  
Have to stay in Sunnydale or else evil mayor will take over world.  Drat.  Stupid politicians.

Day Twenty-Three  
What's the point of a stupid brooding boyfriend if he won't take you to your senior prom? Really, how hard is it to find a tux?

Day Twenty-Four  
Angel gave me another script.  V. confused. Aren't moody boyfriends supposed to write songs?  Or stalker poetry?  I mean, this script has a tap-dancing puppet... It's official.  Angel has the WORST taste in gifts.

Would prefer a mix tape.

Day Twenty-Five  
Angel looked v. sexy and tormented in tux.  Hell hounds bit of a downer though, as crazy Tucker trained them to attack the fashionable--seriously, what's up with that?  Must be v. crazy to want to kill pretty people.

V. worried about Angel.  Just can't look at him the same way.

Day Twenty-Six  
Part in script about doll-eroticism made me hurl.  Then slayer dream gave me v. brilliant idea to destroy mayor.  Even giant snakes can hurl. I think.  Didn't cover that in Bio, or maybe I was asleep.

Day Twenty-Seven  
Angel thinks m.o. can make mayor weep--must agree there.

Day Twenty-Eight  
Angel not as smart as I thought, though still sexy and brooding.  I, on other hand, much smarter than I knew.  Doll-sex and amnesiac-Delilah-sex passages killed mayor-snake's brain, just as anticipated. (yay!)

As Xander says, must be done with the book learning. On to college!  



End file.
